We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
