I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
