I looked at my own cervix.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk if I want to put a bra on
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
