i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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