I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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