i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
