im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
