do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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