he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
