Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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