He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
