i just google imaged poop.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
