Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
