I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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