im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
