Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I intend to get homeless drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
