She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize