i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
