just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
