Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
