its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
