Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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