I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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