3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize