My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
