im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize