"it" just moved
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The adults are the big ones right?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
