I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
