onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
