just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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