I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
they're like a gay fantastic four
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
