I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
