So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
