Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
