At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
