you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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