Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
