HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
