At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize