Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My breasts were aching with rage.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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