maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
