Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
