at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize