i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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