Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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