using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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