he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
