he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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