the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just had sex on a roof
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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