If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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