I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my poor anus
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
