Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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