Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
