This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
