we're blogging at a bar
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize