He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
