we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
