no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
