your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
