i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
