my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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