Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
