Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
