wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
