Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Panties = found
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