remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
