I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
