If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
