dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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