Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
