oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I understand Curling. That high.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
