Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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