i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
