Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
