Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
