The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I want is dick and wine.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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