im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
