Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
