Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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(925): View more from California

I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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(970): View more from Colorado

Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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(760): View more from California

i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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(619): View more from California

i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already

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(812): View more from Indiana

Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.

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