You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
bring money and cleavage
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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